An extract for Why Love Matters by Sue Gerhardt

“…In that time of early life celebrated by paintings and icons of the Madonna and child, mother and baby may, if all goes well, find themselves in a kind of cocoon of peace and love. Breastfeeding itself inactivates the mother’s own stress response; her amygdala expresses less CRF, presumably removing anxious, fearful feelings; whilst the prolactin generated by breastfeeding provides a feeling of tranquillity. The breastfeeding state of mind facilitates her ability to calm her baby and to manage his stress. Once established (and this is not always easy to achieve), breastfeeding can be a powerful source of sustenance for the mother as well as the baby.

She is then potentially more able to inhibit her baby’s stress response and to ensure that his cortisol levels remain low. This is achieved through her presence, her feeding and her touch. The baby is protected from stress and discomfort and his brain responds by growing more cortisol neurons. A brain well stocked with cortisol receptors through this early experience will be better able to mop up this stress hormone when it is released in future. This furnishes the baby’s brain with the capacity to stop producing cortisol when it has helped deal with a source of stress. The stress response will quickly be turned off when it is no longer needed.

But if the baby doesn’t have this experience of being cocooned in a protective mother’s arms (whether provided with bottle feeding or the breast), or if she is absent for too long, then his stress response can kick in and become active prematurely. The baby may become flooded with cortisol and the cortisol receptors will close down. This means that in the future he will have fewer cortisol receptors. The cortisol secreted at times of stress will not find enough receptor homes to go to, particularly in the hippocampus and hypothalamus, and will continue to wash around his brain, producing the high cortisol levels and the feeling that stress cannot be stopped. A reactive stress response will have been set up. There have been numerous studies linking depression with such a hyper-reactive stress response….”

I’ve wanted to find out what happens if we do have cortisol in excess and what damage it does on the body. I’ve read the final affects on the body once you’ve had it for most of your life. But what happens in the immediate I feel is explained in the above.

Aware parent

This is something I’m coming across more and more as I read…and it is something we as adults probably do not understand if we have not grown up around many young children and even then we may not understand.
Its all about psychology, science, and analyzing behaviour of humans.

I did not know this and I’m still correcting my self and learning but once read it seems to make a lot of sense and in some cases scary when you look around at the treatment of children.

Centre for Attachement

“… Emotional regulation is just the same. Babies need assistance in managing their emotions so they do not become overwhelmed. Whether it is fear, sadness, surprise or excitement, babies can quickly succumb to emotional intensity. Witness the baby who gets startled and needs a cuddle to return to calm. Thus, it is inappropriate and relatively impossible to ask a young baby to self-soothe when upset, even in a sleep situation. Going to sleep evokes a state of heightened arousal and is a big transition. Babies typically need the assistance of a connected caregiver to make that transition a smooth and healthy one…”

The Oxford Parent Infant Project

“…At this age he cannot regulate his feelings, and will not be able to work out that ‘the food is too hot’. At such times you may feel resentful towards your impatient toddler. Try to remember that he does not intend to be demanding, he cannot yet understand the need to wait. You will probably find that as soon as you give him the thing he wants he will smile at you lovingly. Being extremely frustrated and raging one minute, and happy and smiley the next is typical of being a toddler, and their feelings may swing from one state to the other. This can be exhausting and frustrating for parents too, so try not to blame your toddler or yourself, especially if you are having a bad day. Becoming more independent means your toddler will want to try to do things for himself, so let him join in where he can….”