“…If a day or two of letting a child cry to sleep would solve all problems, there is no way that the previously quoted percentages would be so high (they are in the book on the other page). In addition, if those who tried it found immediate, simple success, it would be impossible for word not to spread quickly around the world. The truth is that even though cry-it-out advocates try to tell you that it’s a quick fix, it often takes weeks or even months of very intense crying (and very little sleeping) for a child to finally succumb and start sleeping better, only to relapse after teething, illness, vacations, schedule changes, and growth spurts. So to imply that “a few nights of crying” would solve everything is naive and unrealistic….’

This is from one of my new books…Elizabeth Pantley. I’ve been getting new books in the subject of parenting for over a year now. Dave and I were just discussing how far we have come and how educated we are now to what we were before.

We don’t need this book as Ara is sleeping just fine but I’ve become a bit of a “sleep helper” and in my search for help/ideas it seems that information has become very slim as children become older…so the book the “No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers” is just great.

“…Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question: …“

Babies sleep needs versus Cry it out or Controlled Crying 

I found this article when I was looking for something on stress 

“…Because western culture values independence and self-reliance, we often look to foster these traits in our children. In our society, a baby who sleeps through the night is regarded as achieving the ideal. However, what seems best for the adults in the family may not be best for baby. Night waking in babies serves many healthy and protective functions. It allows frequent feeding and the intake of needed nutrition for growth; it creates the opportunity for emotional reconnection and stimulation of optimal brain development; and it is potentially protective against SIDS, allowing babies to avoid long periods of time in deep sleep that can leave them vulnerable….”

“…Babies who are left to cry even for short periods are left vulnerable to the effects of stress. Stress is the emotional and physical impact our bodies experience as we adjust to challenge. The ability to handle stress is formed via our early experiences. Because a baby’s brain is in an early state of development, it is quite vulnerable to stressful events. An infant brain possesses well-established fear circuitry but very immature circuitry for pleasure. What this means is that a baby is easily overwhelmed by distress and needs vigilant assistance to maintain emotional equilibrium and to feel good. Subjection to repeated, frequent, ongoing or intense stressors leaves a baby prone to the negative effects of future stress as well as more unable to recover from the stress of the moment. Crying is often the only way babies have to communicate that they are stressed. Leaving them in this state only increases their stress levels and teaches them they cannot rely on their caregivers to assist them…”

I’ll not often recommend things to buy as I really don’t feel the need…but for some who do not want to have a really large bed, who do not feel confident in sleeping with their baby or who are large people themselves…a sidecar cot is great!

Why we never ask “Is it safe for infants to sleep alone” 

This is about co-sleeping and the history of why we do not belive now that co-sleeping is good.

The University of Notre Dame Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab

This is a PDF and I recomend printing it out if you can as its a photo copy and not all that great….BUT the information is!

This is a PDF which I recomend printing out if you can.

Never sleep alone

“….. While recent cultural implements such as cribs, mattresses and bedding did not evolve to protect and feed infants throughout the night, protective maternal behaviours including bodily contact between the mother and infant during co-sleeping most certainly did…..”

After all, mother infant co-sleeping represents the most biologically appropriate sleeping arrangement for humans and is both ancient and ubiquitous simply because breast feeding is not possible, nor as easily managed, without it….”

This information led me to realise that if I wanted to breastfeed my baby it was best that she sleep with in arms reach or co-sleep.

Punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people.

“….America’s “let them cry” attitude toward children may lead to more fears and tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers…..Michael L. Commons and Patrice M. Miller, researchers at the Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry…..”

 Children Needs

William C. Dement MD PhD considered the world’s leading authority on sleep says
“No scientific experiments have been done on how best to train an infant to sleep, but I can make a few conjectures. I doubt that a regular pattern of sleeping and being awake can ever be imposed on infants immediately after birth or that anyone should even try. Their biological clocks seem to need to mature more before they can keep track of the time of day. But the same kinds of cues that work for us should work on infants’ clocks at they are maturing. Light in their rooms during the morning and dim light in the evening, as well as a feeding and activity schedule that is as regular as possible, should help put the biological clock in tune with the 24-hour day once it has matured enough to kicked in.”
Studies have indicated that this starts around 17 weeks of age and by 40 weeks the baby has started waking and going to sleep at about the same time each day.

Zen Bedtime by Naomi Aldort

“…..Much of the struggle around bedtime comes from going against the flow of nature, based on “fairy tales” passed on to us through the generations. Here are some of them:

1. Children have to be “put” to bed or they will not go to sleep.
2. The couple’s connection must take place in the evening.
3. Children should prepare for sleep by calming down with a story, or soft music.
4. Bed time shouldn’t take so long.
5. Children don’t recognise their own tiredness.
6. A cranky child is a tired child.
7. A tired child can get a “second wind” and be difficult.
8. Children should go to sleep when we tell them to…..”

Naomi Aldort Ph.D. is the author of, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves (available on Amazon and bookstores). Parents from around the globe seek Aldort’s advice by phone, in person and through her workshops. Her advice columns appear in parenting magazines in Canada, USA, AU, UK, and translated to German, Hebrew, Dutch, Japanese and Spanish. Naomi Aldort is married and a mother of three. Her youngest son is twelve-year-old cellist Oliver Aldort.

This artical gave me a few things to think about 

“….. The way in which some young infants are fed in our culture….trying to get them to shift to a 3-4 hour schedule, with feedings of 15-20 minutes at a time, goes against our basic physiology. But humans are very adaptable, and some mothers will be able to make sufficient milk with this very infrequent stimulation and draining of the breasts, and some children will be able to adapt to large meals spaced far apart. Unfortunately, some mothers don’t make enough milk (this is me) with this little nursing, and some babies can’t adjust, and so are fussy, cry a lot, seem to want to nurse “before it is time” and fail to grow and thrive. Of course, usually the mother’s body is blamed ….. “You can’t make enough milk”….”

I find Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D. very intresting to read she is a Associate Professor of Anthropology and Nutrition